Why Marriage Counseling?
Marriages and families have always been a cherished part of my interest and practice as a therapist in Lake Oswego.
In fact, as a young graduate student, I specifically enrolled in the Marriage, Family and Child Counseling program at Pepperdine University. I have found that early professional decision has paid dividends throughout my 30 years of clinical practice with couples, families, and even individuals as they struggle to make their relationships more rewarding and meaningful.
My view is that marriage works as an intimate support system mutually created by the couple. It often makes the couple stronger than they would otherwise be as individuals. It is often a blessing, not only to the couple, but also to children, extended family, friends, and even to the larger community. “Many hands make light work” is a proverb that is usually quite true of healthy marriages and families. Good marriages take work, understanding, compassion, accountability, and a willingness to grow and adapt.
Sometimes marriages get in trouble as the rapport and tenderness between the couple breaks down.
This has a ripple effect, not only on each person in the marriage, but also on others who are connected to the couple they love. The marriage stops being a source of energy, a place of refuge and refuelling, a place of inspiration and excitement; instead it becomes a frustrating confusing, lonely, and exhausting experience. Many individuals contemplate divorce as a way to end the depleting feelings associated with a painful marriage. Sometimes that is a necessary step one must take. However, I believe there is another way.
Over my thirty years of practice, I have taught couples how to listen compassionately to each other. During family counseling sessions, I have taught couples to take accountability for self-defeating behaviors which are undermining the trust and connection in the marriage. I have helped to rekindle the affection, admiration, respect, and joy that justified their reasons for getting married in the first place. Marriage is a co-creation of each partner, and it requires energy and competent advice to move a couple from the co-creation of pain and loneliness to companionship and joy. It can be done, it takes work, courage, honesty and humility. As a therapist in Lake Oswego, I can help.